Ask Dr. Rhodes

Hi Doc. I am a 33 year old physician, successful in my work , family and friendships. BUT I have not had a date in 10 years. I recently lost weight, I look good and love my body, still I can’t seem to get a date. I must admit that I do have hang ups about a history of infidelity that has occurred in my parents marriage and almost all the marriages in my family. But I do want to get married and have children. I do want to love someone and be loved in return without the fear of being cheated on. I know that there are no guarantees in life and I have to put myself out there.

Anonymous

It is hard to overcome shadows from your past which have stacked the deck against trust in an intimate relationship. I think it would be helpful for you to separate the past from the future …and some short term focused therapy might be very helpful.

You are young..successful…honest…but you have waited too long to get over the fear of infidelity. You need to start dating…slowly and get used what goes into a trusting and sincere relationship. It may take several months..even years…but not all people are cheats. You need to approach relationships without writing a script. Start now! And get a supportive therapist to help you!

—Sonya Rhodes, Ph.D.

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